Targflownurl is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unfair troll.

Targflownurl created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Targflownurl, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Targflownurl, he will destroy your favourite star.

Targflownurl's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Targflownurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Never feed nuts to sheep while wearing violet tights.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

4. Never eat cherries on fasting days.

5. Never wear orange scarves on sacred days.