Fumfidwab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid hyena.

Fumfidwab created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumfidwab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fumfidwab, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fumfidwab's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fumfidwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not take Fumfidwab's name in vain.

4. You must love Fumfidwab.

5. Run away if four tapirs approach from the west.