Zedsabgan Donpodsis is a god.

He takes the form of a large, selfish crane.

Zedsabgan Donpodsis created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedsabgan Donpodsis, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zedsabgan Donpodsis, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zedsabgan Donpodsis' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zedsabgan Donpodsis' Holy Commandments

1. Put Zedsabgan Donpodsis first in all things.

2. Always help bats in need.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near shrews while wearing pink boots and balancing six iron spheres on your back.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never eat bark.