Dagpastif is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering manatee.

Dagpastif created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagpastif, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dagpastif, she will turn you into a snail.

Dagpastif's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Dagpastif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to dolphins while wearing green stockings.

2. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

3. Never wear mauve skirts on sacred days.

4. You must pray to Dagpastif eight times a day.

5. Pray only in darkness.