Garfodvolgen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, blissful hummingbird.

Garfodvolgen created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garfodvolgen, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Garfodvolgen, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Garfodvolgen's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Garfodvolgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Do not stand on grass.