Artabwik Lopbumhin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, flying finch.

Artabwik Lopbumhin created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Artabwik Lopbumhin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Artabwik Lopbumhin, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Artabwik Lopbumhin's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Artabwik Lopbumhin's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Artabwik Lopbumhin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.