Cimarpran is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, vain swan.

Cimarpran created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimarpran, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimarpran, he will make you grow a tail.

Cimarpran's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cimarpran's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

3. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

4. Do not take Cimarpran's name in vain.

5. Always take life seriously.