Gepkonteennig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable rat.

Gepkonteennig created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepkonteennig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gepkonteennig, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gepkonteennig's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gepkonteennig's Holy Commandments

1. Always share corn with strangers, but never with capybaras.

2. Never stain your neck with green.

3. Never remain bowed at dawn.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.