Gabjapomt is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omnipotent duck.

Gabjapomt created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabjapomt, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gabjapomt, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gabjapomt's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gabjapomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about spacetime near sheep while wearing white shirts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Never play with disobedient children.