Linquartten is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, uncaring goblin.

Linquartten created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linquartten, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Linquartten, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Linquartten's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Linquartten's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.