Babvolbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, loving shark.

Babvolbonk created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babvolbonk, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Babvolbonk, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Babvolbonk's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Babvolbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Always store peas above ground.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not hurt otters.