Zagjampid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, loving shark.

Zagjampid created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagjampid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagjampid, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zagjampid's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Zagjampid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near dolphins while wearing red skirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your legs.

2. Never jump in the presence of tortoises.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Always look after injured monkeys.

5. Erect four nickel sculptures of Zagjampid on top of important buildings.