Gomstaftim is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, prudent shark.

Gomstaftim created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomstaftim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gomstaftim, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gomstaftim's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gomstaftim's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Hide if eight frogs approach from the south.

4. Never think about dark energy near badgers while wearing magenta dresses and balancing nine zinc spheres on your arms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gomstaftim.