Appspagdavzen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, resourceful hippopotamus.

Appspagdavzen created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appspagdavzen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Appspagdavzen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Appspagdavzen's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Appspagdavzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Never gather three tortoises near walls.