Larnbumcapcet Tipwipbug is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, all-powerful toad.

Larnbumcapcet Tipwipbug created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Larnbumcapcet Tipwipbug, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larnbumcapcet Tipwipbug, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Larnbumcapcet Tipwipbug's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Larnbumcapcet Tipwipbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.