Jipdabflig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humorless chicken.

Jipdabflig created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipdabflig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jipdabflig, he will turn you into a rat.

Jipdabflig's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jipdabflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not prepare garlic while filled with fear.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never wear tights.