Farnstafhakfar is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy spider.

Farnstafhakfar created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnstafhakfar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Farnstafhakfar, he will turn you into a rock.

Farnstafhakfar's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Farnstafhakfar's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Farnstafhakfar.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Never prepare lentils during autumn.