Mismapwip Wablistnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless guinea pig.

Mismapwip Wablistnurt created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mismapwip Wablistnurt, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mismapwip Wablistnurt, she will turn you into a worm.

Mismapwip Wablistnurt's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Mismapwip Wablistnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never eat carrots.