Lanfarmut Cumdangun is a god.

She takes the form of a large, uncaring bird.

Lanfarmut Cumdangun created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfarmut Cumdangun, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lanfarmut Cumdangun, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Lanfarmut Cumdangun's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lanfarmut Cumdangun's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove scarves before touching silver.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help sick eagles.