Logcencar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, deceitful swallow.

Logcencar created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Logcencar, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Logcencar, he will turn you into a tree.

Logcencar's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Logcencar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Do not place nuts upon stone.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. You must love Logcencar.

5. Never wear pink shoes on sacred days.