Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, self-confident dove.

Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan, it will turn you into a rock.

Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Always obey Stipstanparkapplaktipmatpan's priests.

4. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.

5. Do not covet oxen.