Xucpakcep is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciless walrus.

Xucpakcep created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucpakcep, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xucpakcep, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Xucpakcep's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Xucpakcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about special relativity.