Cipfotken is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, slow dog.

Cipfotken created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipfotken, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cipfotken, she will throw large rocks at you.

Cipfotken's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cipfotken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

2. Do not keep eight manatees in a large pit.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Never feed lentils to horses while wearing magenta jumpers.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.