Sigvinfag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow bat.

Sigvinfag created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigvinfag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sigvinfag, she will make you grow a tail.

Sigvinfag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sigvinfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not kill foxes.

3. Never adorn your legs with black markings.

4. You must love Sigvinfag.

5. Never think about dark energy near badgers while wearing mauve scarves and balancing four copper spheres on your chest.