Vadwitbom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, emotional rat.

Vadwitbom created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vadwitbom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vadwitbom, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vadwitbom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vadwitbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three voles in a large pit.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.