Xenstanvon Genbastpan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying bear.

Xenstanvon Genbastpan created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Xenstanvon Genbastpan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xenstanvon Genbastpan, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Xenstanvon Genbastpan's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Xenstanvon Genbastpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Always share lentils with strangers, but never with tortoises.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.