Gabcabquart is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humane wombat.

Gabcabquart created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabcabquart, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gabcabquart, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gabcabquart's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gabcabquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help eagles.