Dognillig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent salamander.

Dognillig created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dognillig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dognillig, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Dognillig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dognillig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Run away if eight birds approach from the west.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Do not prepare aubergines while wearing rings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.