Bessminhan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty jellyfish.

Bessminhan created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessminhan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bessminhan, she will come to you in dreams.

Bessminhan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bessminhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never touch oil while blessed.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not take Bessminhan's name in vain.