Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, competent troll.

Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak, he will manifest in front of you.

Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

3. Always obey Bumtagvolmisgilcatmonzog Larpcemyak's priests.

4. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.