Cimcebtar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless jackal.

Cimcebtar created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimcebtar, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cimcebtar, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cimcebtar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cimcebtar's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Always help sick tapirs.

4. Never gather nine mice near walls.

5. Never handle lead while unclean.