Kik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic bat.

Kik created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kik, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kik, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Kik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear dresses marked with purple.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Kik.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.