Zedfossbossont is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome centipede.

Zedfossbossont created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedfossbossont, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zedfossbossont, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zedfossbossont's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zedfossbossont's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove scarves before touching copper.

2. Do not record names concerning galaxies.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Zedfossbossont on top of all buildings.

4. Never gather eight shrews in one place.

5. Do not name children after doves.