Quagmadcub is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered crab.

Quagmadcub created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagmadcub, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quagmadcub, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quagmadcub's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quagmadcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill snails.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always obey Quagmadcub's priests.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Quagmadcub on top of all buildings.