Gonloopdad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, tiresome chicken.

Gonloopdad created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonloopdad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gonloopdad, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gonloopdad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gonloopdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Do not speak of ultrasonics near sacred fires.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never feed parsnips to turtles while wearing stockings.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.