Bellkapyamhom is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, boastful hummingbird.

Bellkapyamhom created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellkapyamhom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellkapyamhom, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bellkapyamhom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bellkapyamhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to gulls while wearing pink kilts.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Never eat green fruit.