Bidvonkweg is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent snake.

Bidvonkweg created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidvonkweg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bidvonkweg, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bidvonkweg's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bidvonkweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never sit near sheep.

3. Put Bidvonkweg first in all things.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.