Loopwipcit is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, passionate penguin.

Loopwipcit created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopwipcit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Loopwipcit, he will cry a lot.

Loopwipcit's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Loopwipcit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Do not kill shrews.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never talk about pigs.