Mapyattmat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient mouse.

Mapyattmat created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapyattmat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapyattmat, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mapyattmat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Mapyattmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never paint your hands mauve.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not prepare spinach while filled with fear.

5. Never touch water while clean.