Fitkanwig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, happy meerkat.

Fitkanwig created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitkanwig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fitkanwig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Fitkanwig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Fitkanwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare bananas while wearing shoes.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never talk about dark matter near voles while wearing green trousers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not skip at forests.