Nutgongem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, happy fly.

Nutgongem created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutgongem, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nutgongem, she will turn you into a frog.

Nutgongem's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nutgongem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never chant while facing south.