Ditbomvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic scorpion.

Ditbomvonk created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditbomvonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditbomvonk, she will throw large rocks at you.

Ditbomvonk's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ditbomvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Shrews are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed lots of apples to turtles while wearing fawn corsets.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never handle zinc while unclean.