Xuckdibzan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonourable meerkat.

Xuckdibzan created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckdibzan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xuckdibzan, he will turn you into a plant.

Xuckdibzan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Xuckdibzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three doves in a large pit.

2. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Always count to nine before sleeping.