Matflamhot is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic sheep.

Matflamhot created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Matflamhot, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Matflamhot, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Matflamhot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Matflamhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never whisper while facing east.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.