Matditquart is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, able cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Matditquart created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matditquart, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Matditquart, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Matditquart's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Matditquart's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six porpoises approach from the west.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Matditquart on top of all buildings.

4. Do not eat spinach.

5. Never approach mountains carrying ash.