Figfidhog Dubyarbell Loophakhas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, wise crane.

Figfidhog Dubyarbell Loophakhas created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figfidhog Dubyarbell Loophakhas, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Figfidhog Dubyarbell Loophakhas, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Figfidhog Dubyarbell Loophakhas' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Figfidhog Dubyarbell Loophakhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never paint your hands brown.