Nabsadshav is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, proud snail.

Nabsadshav created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabsadshav, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nabsadshav, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nabsadshav's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Nabsadshav's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat gooseberries.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Never laugh in the presence of ducks.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.