Kanmapged is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful cat.

Kanmapged created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Kanmapged, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kanmapged, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kanmapged's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Kanmapged's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kanmapged.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. You must love Kanmapged.

5. Erect six gold sculptures of Kanmapged on top of important buildings.