Staffabwad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited camel.

Staffabwad created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Staffabwad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Staffabwad, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Staffabwad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Staffabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never jump in the presence of elders.

5. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the west.