Gessdotcab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish lobster.

Gessdotcab created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gessdotcab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gessdotcab, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gessdotcab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gessdotcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume aubergines at dawn.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gessdotcab.

4. Worship no other gods but Gessdotcab.

5. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.